Monday, July 20, 2009

Plum-Titties, there is a booger in your pool

These thoughts are rambling through my brain right now. What in the world is she prattling
on about now? Let’s start with those titties!

Pendulous, delectable, juicy and straight from the National Geographic these breasts are
entrancing as they sway under the cotton t-shirt. Your eyes are automatically pulled from
anything else you are doing, like a lightening rod attracts a bolt…a flash…ZOOM SNAP FLASH
WHAMMO you are staring and you can’t peel your eyes away from that chest.

It’s unheard of and you know it’s not socially acceptable to stare but holy crap, how often do you see man-tits like these?

MOOBs Gynecomastia Jigglepuffs Swingers Jubblies …this poor old guy really had some peepers but wait, is he really a poor old guy or does he have a sweetie at home to suck on those juicy fruits?
Maybe they taste as nummy as they looked.
I just wanted to squeeze them, pinch them, slap them…motorboat them..but alas I was sitting in the middle of a the room with 2 other people and quite simply it would be socially unacceptable to manhandle an octogenarian.

Right after Boo(b)Boo(b) left a funny little (blonde)college (farmer looking) boy replaced his seat along with 2 friends and proceeded to make their orders. The waitress came and went, leaving a basket of rolls & butter to nibble on while they waited for their meals.

Let me tell you that these rolls are super fantastic and anyone that’s in this neck of the
woods should stop in just for these culinary gifts. Nothing like a mouthful of bread and butter to put a smile on your face.this will also put a pound of fat on your ass and ruin the rest of your meal because your stomach is bloating while it fills up with yeast as it ferments with the beers you've been swilling.

College Boy (CB) is sittin' pretty with a shit eating grin on and fingernails clipped practically to the quick. He grabs up a roll (I'm watching him out of the corner of my eye, simply because I'm a nosy bitch) and digs out the guts of the roll and then scoops out a glob of butter and sticks in smack dab into the middle of the de-gutted roll, slaps it shut and swallows it in 2 bites. Then proceeds to chomp on the glob of bun-guts that he'd removed prior to this act.

I keep catching "CBs" eye and he's on to me and getting a little self conscious but I appeal to him simply by saying out to him..(giggle) you're CUTE! which makes him blush and he doesn't know quite how to respond to the fat sweaty old lady eyeballing him.
this has the rest of us at the table in a fit of laughter because now we are secretly trying to capture him on video with the cell phones. I explained to him to keep doing what he's doing ...that he's going to be my next installment...of the RANTS! but in his infinite CB shyness he stopped. so, we stopped. paid our bill ...and left.

there's always got to be a party pooper or a poop in the playland or a booger in the pool