Why have I been silent for over a year?

I don't have enough words to explain it to you.
All of you know me for my humor and silliness, sarcarcsm and wit.

Much of the light(ness) drained from me when I lost my best friend...plus I continually fight day after day with pain and discomfort.
Sure, there are good days and good hours and I make the most of it. Every day I wake up and try to decide what I'm going to tackle.

Some simple tasks are so overwhelming, maybe they aren't physically overwhelming but instead I just feel emotionally challenged because the end result WILL be exhaustion. Sometimes it makes a lot more sense to grasp whatever enjoyment I can with my energy instead of taking care of daily chores.

I feel like I'm going to come to the end of my life and ...regret.